“If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.” -Dalai Lama
Every single one of us is guilty of being rude, condescending, or just down right mean. Anger is the number one reaction to many actions, but it’s also a choice.
When we are driving, we are upset about many things- no turning signal, someone stopped too fast, someone is driving too slow, someone cut me off, etc. When we are at work, we are upset because our boss is being an ass, or the secretary didn’t make the coffee right. When we are on the phone (this one gets me all the time) with our cable company, or our cell phone provider, or any telemarketer, we are upset because we are on hold for too long, the person on the line doesn’t understand our issue, or we can’t understand them through their thick accent. Whatever the case may be, we are always being challenged and presented with issues. Our response to these issues is a choice, but how do we get in the habit of choosing the right way to go about things like this?
To respond better in situations , we need to practice compassion. Being compassionate is being sympathetic. It allows us to be able to put ourselves in other people’s shoes so we can better understand the reasons as to why they are acting the way they are. We need to remind ourselves to “Absorb, then Act”. First we need to absorb the situation, take a moment to really take in what is going on, and allow ourselves to feel what the other person is feeling. After we have a good sense of what is going on, we are able to act in a more compassionate way.
So the next time someone cuts you off on the freeway, instead of throwing up the bird, or getting angry, just take a breath and absorb the situation. Feel compassion and remember that perhaps they are trying to get to a loved one that has just been hurt. Or when your boss is being an ass, instead of talking badly behind his back, be compassionate. Remind yourself that he has a lot on his shoulders, and maybe his wife just found out she has cancer.
We truly do not know what is going on in anyones day-to-day life, and a lot of times it may be worse than we think. We don’t walk around with signs on our shirts that say, “Today I lost my dog of 10 years, so have some compassion.”. So we need to remind ourselves to do so.
Liz Skajem 